OK, I can be sensitive and can be touchy/feely when necessary. Most of my colleagues are really touchy/feely kinds of hypnotists and I have no problem with that. But like most everything in life, there is a time and place for most things. The problem is, that most of the time, in my far from humble opinion, it prolongs problems rather than helping to eliminate them. And that is why I have my metaphoric 2X4 (a big stick) next to my chair to whack people on the sides of their heads.
When clients come in to see me for whatever problems they may have, I sit and listen for a few minutes. Now I could listen to the story they have to tell and get wrapped up in the misery they are experiencing and offer sympathetic words of, “Poor, poor you”. But what I am really doing is listening to determine if they are there to merely vent and garner pity or if they want to change. I listen to some of the content of what they are saying, but mostly to the way they are saying it. Honestly, most of the stories they will tell have been told many times before to any ear that will listen. They may have been in therapy of some kind or another for an extended period of time and repeated many of the same details and ongoing sagas of their troubles. Eventually, I have to bring it to an end, more sooner than later. I have patience, but it is not endless and I do have other clients. But usually as the client gets comfortable in telling his tale and the point where he thinks it is getting interesting, I reach down and pick up my metaphoric 2X4 and give him a whack alongside his head. I ask them, “How long have you been in therapy?” A period of time is given and most times it has been extensive. I then ask him, “Have you been telling all this to your therapist?” An affirmative answer is given. Then I ask, “Has it really helped you in any way?” Most reply, “A little” or “Not really”. Then comes the whack; “Then why do you think repeating all this to me now will help?” Silence…….. This is not something he wanted or expected to hear.
I give them a moment to think and absorb the blow a little. This was the first of what may be a few more whacks to the head. Usually the client start getting a little mad at me. His expectation of “poor, poor you” didn’t happen. He will be upset that I didn’t get interested in the story that he wanted to tell. Now don’t get me wrong. I understand that there is a problem. It’s just that I am approaching the solution to the problem from a different angle and not the way that has not worked in the past. I am a hypnotist.
One of the core beliefs that I hold as a hypnotist is that change can happen fast. It doesn’t need months and months or years and years to happen. Most problems that people have are created most times in an instant. There may have been some buildup to the change, but the real change/problem happened very quickly. Now some people will counter with they don’t know when a problem began or say, “Well, I really had it all my life.” But when I guide the clients into hypnosis, they discover there was a moment when they changed and the problem was created. Sometimes I will regress a client to the initial sensitizing event to prove this point, but usually it is not necessary. So the point is the problem or behavior was created quickly, so it can be turned around quickly, with the right tools and desire.
Which takes us back to; a whack to the head with my metaphoric 2X4. Too often people, (therapists), want to be sensitive and not upset the client. They don’t want to be perceived as mean or uncaring. They will not state obvious truths to the client. And this is a disservice to the client. If everyone says that the client’s problem is something other than what it really is, the solution will rarely be found. And that is why another core belief I have is that: If you want to help your clients change, you cannot be afraid of them. That is, don’t be afraid of doing the right thing even if they don’t temporarily like you for doing or saying it.
Now the reason why I swing my 2X4 so freely is not that I have a sadistic streak. But rather, it instantly stops a person in his tracks with a thought that may be holding him back. By whacking the client I am disrupting a thought pattern, and in turn, causing him to stop thinking a less than a positive and productive way. And once you break a thought pattern enough times, the mind cannot go back to the old way of thinking. This opens up the possibility of thinking in new ways that can be more helpful. Doing this technique in the conscious state begins the process of challenging the client’s believe system that has been holding back positive changes. Then in the hypnotic trance, I will continue to reinforce and cement the new way of thinking.
Change happens quickly. Holding onto and remaining in the past is slow and most times ineffective. Why wait a lifetime to turn things around? And that is why I do hypnosis and related techniques. In the past as a private detective I helped people get out of difficult situations only to go out and do the same or similarly stupid things again. They didn’t want to change, they only wanted the consequences of their actions to change. Now, as a hypnotist, I only help people who are willing and committed to making positive changes in their lives so they can have the best lives possible.